Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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