Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
