Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
