smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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