Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
