porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
