Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
