I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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