We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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