Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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