I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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