thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
