i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Your cock deserves a montage
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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