There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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