TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
