My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
