sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
