I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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