What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
