About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize