Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
