Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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