How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
