I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
