can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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