She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
