dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
