I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
