so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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