they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's shark week go big or go home
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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