this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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