ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
