Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
