You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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