Buhtt sex?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
