marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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