remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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