It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
