Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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