We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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