Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
