69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
