is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
