why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i think im in europe. pls send help
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
