so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
