Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he shaved USA in his pubs
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
