hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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