Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
