Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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