So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
only if we run a train.
done.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
