Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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