So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize