dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
