isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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