oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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