Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
