Don't make out with my wife yet
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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