Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
