So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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