I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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