sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
